This Book Will Make You Dangerous: The Irreverent Guide For Men Who Refuse to Settle by Tripp Lanier & Lanier Creative Services Inc

Author:Tripp Lanier & Lanier Creative Services Inc [Lanier, Tripp]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lanier Creative Services, Inc.
Published: 2020-03-31T20:00:00+00:00

Instead of freedom, where am I feeling trapped?

Instead of aliveness, where am I feeling drained?

Instead of love and connection, where am I feeling alone or isolated?

Instead of peace, where am I feeling stressed or bored?

Now, instead of medicating ourselves or running away from the stuff that doesn’t feel good, we can get curious. We can view this pain in the ass as the doorway to clarifying the experiences we do want.

If I’m feeling trapped, then what would have me feel more free today?

If I’m feeling drained, then what would have me feel more alive today?

If I’m feeling isolated, then what would have me feel more connected and loved today?

If I’m feeling stressed out or bored, then what would have me feel more at peace today?

Now, here’s the deal … we don’t want to be like that moron at the gym who thinks he’s going to turn around seven years of sitting on the couch in one afternoon. Pick one area and just focus there. Start small. Go slow. Stretching and pushing ourselves too much and too quickly is a recipe for misery and anxiety.

So let’s talk about anxiety.

Use Anxiety to Clarify What You Want

Anxiety is an awful experience, and it tends to surround the areas of our lives that matter most — our relationships, health, and finances.

I interviewed Chip Conley a while back. He’s taken his years of entrepreneurship and turned them into a few powerful, practical books. One of these is called Emotional Equations, and in that book, Conley breaks down anxiety into a simple mathematical equation that looks like this:

Anxiety = Uncertainty x Powerlessness

Right. Okay. So, what the hell does that mean? He’s basically saying that when our uncertainty is combined with a sense of powerlessness, it explodes into a much larger experience of anxiety. To take our anxiety head on, he recommends doing a simple exercise called the “Anxiety Balance Sheet.” And we can use it right now to reduce our anxiety by clarifying what we want to do next and stepping into power.

Ready?

So think of an area of your life that’s giving you anxiety. Grab that journal or whatever you like to write with, and create four lists answering the following questions with regards to this specific situation:

What do I know?

What don’t I know?

What’s within my power?

What’s outside of my power?

When we take a few minutes to answer these questions thoughtfully a few things typically emerge. One, we’re giving ourselves a headache worrying about stuff that’s way outside of our control. Two, we tend to know more about a situation than we had previously assumed. And three, we can quickly reclaim our sense of authority and power by getting answers to the questions we haven’t answered yet.[8]

If I’m spinning my wheels, freaking out about XYZ, then my anxiety tells me that some certainty will minimize it. Instead of burying my head in the sand, where can I find that answer? Who can I ask about this? What action can I take?

Within minutes, we can step out of powerlessness into action.

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